Care is a big part of Becky Preve's job as Executive Director for the Association on Aging in New York. She is one of the fiercest and most badass warrior angels we know, spreading her wings over her co-workers who represent and serve all 59 Area Agencies on Aging (AAAs) across the state — as they, in turn, spread their wings out and over the ENTIRE STATE OF NEW YORK.
Becky and Alex dig deep into ALL THINGS CARE…from the realities of how unpaid caregivers often self-medicate to cope (as they transparently both admit to doing) to caring in expected AND maybe-less-so ways (including Becky’s recent role bringing her fierce skills to helping to care for her ex-husband) to why knowing how to care in a care economy is a mad wild advantage to how the heck we can find and support this gorgeous population of unpaid caregivers serving as the invisible backbone of our nation.
Bonus? Get your own score. Find out if YOU are ‘in the red’.
Alex: Because of the work I'm lucky enough to get to do, I get to flirt with a lot of awesome people and I fall in love with a lot of them. But there are some that don't just captivate your heart, they hold it and you just give it to them forever. We're about to talk to one of those people for me because this woman, as far as I'm concerned, is one of the fiercest and most badass warrior angels that exist on this planet.
And she's going to get real with us. about what it's like to care for others, and what are some hacks we could all use to help manage the intensity of that care. And I'm not just talking about a lot of the go to favorites that many of us in this role use, things like alcohol or naughty food. Nope, she's got some other ones as well.
I'm Alex Drane, and this is Who Cares? Stories of those who do. And today, you get to meet Rebecca Preeby, or Becky, as she's known to most of us, because good lord, this woman cares. Who cares? In my house, if you're starting a good story, you've got to start with once upon a time. Here's Becky's.
Becky: I grew up in a really small border town in upstate New York on a 60 cow family dairy farm. I'm the youngest of five children. And from the time I could walk, it was the time I could work. So growing up on a dairy farm, I think if you talk to any farmers, it's a unique way to actually experience the world and get a very different perspective than a lot of other individuals.
So it was definitely a difficult upbringing in the sense that that not a lot of high school kids have to milk 60 cows in the morning before they go to their academic day. But it really, it really shaped me as a person long term and the reason I was successful in higher education and employment based on the fact that, you know, as a farmer, you really have to be self sufficient, you have to be down and dirty and you have to be willing to do the work with others for success.
Alex: So you wake up in the morning, the alarm goes off, right? Or is there a rooster? Like I don't know, because I didn't grow up on a farm. So something happens, you get out of bed, and you do what? Put on what? Go
Becky: to where? So it would depend on the time of year. Summertime, that would look like getting up pretty much right after dawn to do morning chores, which may or may not have consisted of milking if one of the other siblings was milking that morning.
And then it was literally a day in the hayfield where you were baling hay, picking up hay, driving tractor, brief stop for lunch, and then you finished your day's work in a hayfield and then had to milk again that evening Before you, you went in and went to bed during the school year, it looked a little bit different as I got older.
I was an avid sports player, but sports had to come behind responsibilities on the dairy farm. And at that point, being the youngest, my three older brothers had moved away. So it was my sister and myself and my father had a back injury. And so those days looked like getting up at four 30 or five milking in the morning, going to high school, going to sports [00:03:00] practice, coming home and milking again.
So, um, definitely was, was, Different than a lot of my friends upbringing, but in hindsight, the resentment that I had at that time has really grown into being thankful because I think it changed my work ethic long term
Alex: growing up on a farm made Becky strong, but no matter how strong or resilient you are, if you are suddenly and unexpectedly thrust into this role of being a caregiver for someone you love.
You basically just got on an upside down roller coaster blindfolded, and the ride's not only likely going to go in a way you cannot predict, it's not going to stop when you expect either. This past summer, Becky's ex husband had to undergo sudden, very serious surgery. Wait, what? Becky was a caregiver to her ex husband?
Does that happen in real life? You bet it does. Caregivers are not just caring for those you would expect. And they're certainly not always who you would expect. Cause there's another twister. Another key caregiver for Becky's ex husband. was actually Becky's 10 year old daughter. Wait, what? 10 year olds are sometimes taking serious roles caring for seriously ill loved ones?
Oh, you bet they are.
Becky: We have talked about this a lot, Alex, and I've seen it so much professionally, right? The, the traditional caregiver, when we think about caregiver, is a middle aged female that's caring for her parents and potentially children in school, and that's like the picture we get in our head of a caregiver.
That is, that is absolutely a caregiver, but it's really the only one that is recognizable and really identified on an ongoing basis, and I think there are so many other caregiving journeys that look so incredibly different, but have the same not only inherent value. but also the same stress. And so, you know, Alex, I've shared this with you.
I've shared it with a lot of people that I work with. You know, I met my ex husband when I was 16. We spent 20 wonderful years together. It didn't work out. We're still extremely good friends, but I'm an ex wife, right? So when he had a medical condition that was very, very scary for the entire family and had to get a significant surgery hundreds of miles away in the Boston area, I was in Boston and I was with him at the hospital and I stayed there with him and, and with my daughter.
To really make sure he was taken care of and that he felt safe and secure and he had someone with him. And when people heard that, you know, the questions ranged from, well, why would you do that? Or to, you know, you're not a caregiver. I was absolutely a caregiver in that sense. I was a caregiver to my kids.
I was a caregiver to him. I was a caregiver to his family.
Alex: Wait, but we have to back up for a second because even you in that moment, right? We had that hysterical conversation about how, again, coming back to because of the work that we do, Becky, we both now are faster to recognize other people in non traditional caregiver roles, a neighbor, a fellow patron at church, a stranger on the street.
We can be passing love onto in whatever way that we do it. Most people don't think ex wife. And you yourself, as you traveled, took two weeks off from work, were incredibly stressed out. The other impact, you know, ripple effect all across. Your daughter is in fifth grade, also in this role of unpaid caregiver with you.
And we had that hysterical conversation where I was like, Beck, no, no, no, no, no, babe, like. You know the stats, right? 70 percent of us who are serving this role of unpaid caregiver have at least one mental health condition. We're going to have anxiety. We're going to have depression. We're in a potentially of suicidal ideation.
Like Beck, we got to stop for a second. How are you? And you're like, what? Huh? No, I got to get to the hospital. I got to go do this. And we had that moment where you're like, Oh my gosh, I'm doing that thing. Where I don't see my own self in the role and this is part of what you're dedicating your life to and you did it to yourself.
Becky: Yeah, and I think, I think that's so common and, and for me as a social worker, right? To not identify that I canceled the vacation, I took time off from work, I spent an exorbitant amount of money on travel and buying things to make sure his hospital stay was okay. On top of that, really dealing with significant post traumatic stress disorder because we did almost lose him.
And so I almost lost a friend who I've had more than half of my life. My kids almost lost their father and we had an unknown journey before us. And, you know, when we had that conversation where I was very tearful and very, you know, vacillated between anger and sadness and anxiety, I didn't identify as being a caregiver in that role.
So if I don't identify as being a caregiver in that role, how can I ever expect people that have never touched the health care system or human services or social work to ever really think about themselves in that light or anything besides, I'm just doing what I need to do. And it was, it was an aha moment.
Alex: This feels like a perfect moment to geek out together about the data for a second. Not only because it might surprise you, but because it could kick off a super intimate conversation with a bestie over a cup of coffee, or a drink, or three. Because believe it or not, 40 to 50 percent of unpaid caregivers are men.
Shocker, eh? Well, get this. At least 1 in 4 millennials are in this role. And 1 in 5 Gen Z. And those numbers are not only trending bigger. The ages are also getting younger. Which brings us back to Becky's daughter, Emma. Teachers were not looking at this sassy little fifth grader thinking, Hey, maybe last night that little girl slept on a couch outside of her dad's room, tending to his surgical wounds.
But she did, and she was.
Becky: So Emma's experience, I think, is something she's gonna carry with her. The rest of her life and Alex you got to spend some time with them and you know what kind of kid she is she's very mature for her age but at 10 years old she literally took it upon herself not because anybody asked her but because she is that kind [00:09:00] of person and she's very caring she would not sleep farther than 10 feet away from her dad for weeks and stayed on the couch to make sure if he got up in the middle of the night, she could physically get up with him and make sure he was okay. She also has turned into a wonderful little chef and is very proud of the meals that she made and the things that she was able to do.
And in retrospect, you know, to think about Emma's summer and the time she didn't spend with her friends and didn't spend outside swinging on a swing set because she was a caregiver. I am so proud of. Because I think it's going to shape who she is as a person long term. And to see it as a mother was one of the most endearing things I've ever seen in my entire life.
So, you know, I always try to look at the bright side through whatever someone is going through. And I think that the lessons that caregivers are able to learn, not only if they're young, middle aged or old, really shape individuals and change how they look at the world. Long term, and I think Emma is going to be a great friend to anyone that goes through something like this, just as your son was a great friend to Emma when she was dealing with this.
Alex: I just got to jump in with another thought here and really punctuate this point. The data shows, and any of you who have lived this know, not only are unpaid caregivers dealing with a lot of intensity, they've also developed insane amounts of talent and expertise, yet they mostly go unrecognized and under-appreciated.
And they can have a really hard time transitioning back to the workforce, especially if they've had to take time off because of this role they have caring for others. Let's remember, we do live in a care economy now, and so if there's one skill set that should be freaking rocking and rolling in appreciation and recognition, it's this one.
So I asked Becky, what is up with that? And what can we do about it?
Becky: Well, I, I would argue all day that the best employee is one that has been a caregiver. Um, and you know, to that point, Alex, people always say, well, I haven't, I haven't worked in five years cause I took care of mom or I was raising my kids or I had to take a leave of absence.
So I have a gap in my employment history. That gap isn't a gap that's you've been a transportation coordinator. You've been a home health aide. You've been. A patient advocate you've been an expert on medicaid and medicare and insurance plans you've been a scheduling coordinator if there's more than one person involved in your care you've been a social worker because i'll tell you what people think families are this beautiful hallmark christmas card.
For the most part they're not um the family is a very dysfunctional unit and so juggling personalities and managing care um i think those are all such insanely. Insanely talented. articulate individuals to be in the workforce. And on top of that, if you want to talk to somebody that can multitask, it's a caregiver because they don't have another option.
And so getting people to really talk about that and marketing that I think is so important because I'll tell you, if I'm looking for an employee and they share a caregiver story with me, and they tell me about doing all of those things. That's exactly the kind of employee I want to be working alongside me in whatever I do because they know how to get work done.
Alex: Bam. Done. Hiring them immediately. We also talk a lot about Becky being a red phone. You know sometimes the way to calm down and say things to someone else instead of to your insert name of person with whom you're co character giving here is to reach out to your red phone. And I gotta ask you, like, you're my red phone sometimes, but we call it the red phone because, you know, if you're an archangel, you're in the green, yellow, or red.
And if you're in the red, you are in the red. And my way of blowing off steam when I'm in the red, and I don't have a lot of time, so I don't have the luxury of being like, I'm gonna go meditate, is I will call you sometimes back as you know, and I will just say as many swears. As I can in that very shy make up swears.
I combine swears. I think about swears in other languages. I'm terrible in other languages, but swears I know I give myself 60 seconds, 90 seconds. That's all I do. [00:13:00] And then I hang up. And that is your gift to me, is that you take that from me. What are, what are other examples of red phones? Who are your red phones?
If people don't have the ability, the time or energy to go reach out to an office for aging, what else can they do to survive that moment of extraordinary intensity?
Becky: I think there's a whole variety of things. And I think anybody naive enough to think everybody's got their stuff together enough that they don't have those moments is exactly that they're very naive or they have led a beautiful life.
You know, my red phone has absolutely been you Alex. I mean, I've said things to you that if we're published, I'd probably lose my professional job for but same thing in the heat of the moment to it. To know I had a trusted friend that was not part of my inner circle that lived in New York, that I could be completely myself and show anger to, that has absolutely been you.
It's also been Sarah, your, your co founder. And I do have a lot of people that I can call, that I can lean on, that are experienced in this type of work, right? I've worked with them professionally. They understand family dynamics. They don't judge me for how I'm feeling in the moment. Not everybody has that to your point.
And I think that there are a lot of different tools that caregivers can use. I'm a huge fan of journaling for people that don't have someone to talk to. A piece of paper is never going to talk back to you and say, you know, Alex or Becky, you shouldn't have felt that way. And guess what I can do when I'm done.
I can crumple it up and throw it in a fireplace and never speak of it again. I think there's a lot of tools that are available throughout the country for caregiver support. And I think that one of the beautiful things about the internet is that is that peer to peer support is sometimes the absolute best thing a caregiver needs.
But I think that the biggest takeaway is that it's not abnormal to need a red phone or to need a way to cope with these things. But the way to get there is to make sure caregivers identify as being caregivers. And that's barrier number one. There's still a stigma attached to it. There's still this, you know, thought process specific to many cultures that the responsibility of taking care of people is, is dependent on the family and it's not okay to ask for help.
Alex: You know when you're watching something, and that little warning comes across the top of the screen? The, this might get spicy warning? Well, consider this that. We're going to get spicy on the topic of self medication. Because you know what some of us unpaid caregivers might do to cope with all this intensity?
We've all got a drug of choice. Whether that's alcohol, It surely is for me. Or food. It could be TV, video games, even gambling. In my dreams, I'm addicted to eating well and exercising. In real life, not so much. And so I wanted to know about Becky's experience with coping and her medication of choice.
Becky: We've, we've had this conversation, Alex, and not only have I done it in a caregiving situation and what I'm dealing with now, right after Mike's recovery, my father in law unexpectedly passed away. He's been my dad since I was 16. My mother in law is struggling with the legal system and trying to take care of everything.
And you know, I went to be with her exactly for that. I wanted to take care of her legal matters. And that's. It's one of the nice things. I have a gift that I can take care of those things and settle the estate. But guess what we did when we got done at the attorney's office? We came home and we drank too much.
And we both did that because number one, it's a way to self medicate. But number two, it was the relief of knowing we had everything settled. She hadn't slept in over a week. I wasn't sleeping the best. And guess what? Two, three extra glasses of wine, we both slept wonderfully. And people don't want to talk about that, right?
The other thing is almost the entire time I was in Boston, I have high blood pressure, I have to watch my sodium intake, I have to watch what I eat. I ate hospital pizza, and you know, junk food at night and people do that. And it's part of self medicating. And what happens is because nobody wants to talk about it.
And nobody wants to admit that they're dealing with those things. Those things just multiply and people feel like they need to hide them or it's a really bad thing. And I can tell you professionally, the number of families that I work with, where especially in the population, maybe with some cognitive impairment or sundowning issues, when a caregiver has a night off.
And they can sleep. It's not just a couple extra glasses of wine. It's how many Z quils can I legally take without stopping my breathing? Because they haven't slept in weeks, right? And, and those, you know, there's been study after study after study indicating that, that our social behaviors and what we do and how we take care of ourselves.
Drive our long-term health care outcomes. So if we don't identify caregivers and talk to them about having other alternatives and how to manage these types of things, you're going to see an increased risk of all kinds of chronic health conditions as they get older. But again, nobody wants to talk about these things.
If you look at the overall health care spending in the nation, 30 percent is attributed to genetics, 10 percent is contributed to your, your chronic condition. The rest is how you live your life and who you have for supports and whether or not you're socially isolated and lonely. I would argue all caregivers that are in a stressful situation feel very socially isolated and lonely, even if they're surrounded with family members, because it's a very individual journey.
And they're absolutely not taking care of themselves. You know, Alex, when you're stressed, when I'm stressed, I should get up and go for a walk, enjoy nature. That's not what we do in reality when you're in those situations, but nobody wants to talk about it.
Alex: Well, and I think step number one of reducing anxiety is by knowing you're not alone.
And I can't tell you how many people will come up to us and you've seen this too. Maybe we've given a talk someplace or someone's been exposed to the archangels work and they'll come up to us and they'll say, you know, I gained 70 pounds. And I went on anti anxiety medication when my mom moved in with us, my uncle moved in with us, when my brother was hospitalized for a, you know, mental break, whatever it might be.
And until I heard you, I heard about this, I got those stats, I thought I was the only one and I thought I just was weak. I thought I sucked. I thought I wasn't handling this well. Thank you for helping me realize I'm not alone. And yeah, I look forward to the day that I choose an apple and to be able to go for a walk.
And until I can do that, I'm gonna stop beating myself up for the fact That I'm doing what I can to survive and actually I'm going to reframe all of it and say I'm a fucking badass warrior angel Spreading my wings out over these people caring so hard for them This brings up another topic that I love to talk about because I love to talk about things that we're not allowed to talk about Which is When you are in this role and it is intense, it, it bubbles out, right?
We talk about this term misappropriation, which is a fancy clinical term, or maybe I don't know what term it is. I like the term. I don't really understand it until someone described it to me as, you want to be mad at this, but instead because you can't get mad at, you get mad at that. So in moments that are more intense for me, I might be feeling frustrated with the person I'm caring for.
But I'm never going to admit that to myself. I never want to make that person I'm caring for feel that way. However, there is this emotion in my body and it might manifest in me having some extra glasses of Prosecco in me chowing down a burger, whatever it might be, it might also manifest and I take it out on my man and I'm worldwide famous for taking it out on my man.
I will literally pick a fight with him because I need to like, and he has learned over time to say to me, like, babe, you're just, you're in the red. Which, of course, enrages me. I'm like, I'm not in the red! But then I realize I am in the red. There's another place it manifests for, for a lot of unpaid caregivers.
[00:20:41] 52 percent of unpaid caregivers who are in the red do not believe their relationship is going to survive. And they also, sorry to say it, stop having sex. Absolutely. Because, Share more. You've seen this so many times in your life, and so if you're one of those people and your sex life is gone right now, and you're like, ugh, and now I'm also sucking up my sex life.
No, you're not. Mm hmm. Talk about those feelings, Becky.
Becky: So I, you know, I think it's so widespread, but to your point, Alex, no one wants to talk about it. Right, people just aren't comfortable. And then it manifests as this seed with inside your relationship that just continues to grow animosity to the point where you might end up in serious marital trouble, if it's not addressed.
And to your point, what has always really frustrated me is that I remember when my babies were little, I had A wealth of people saying let me take the baby for the night why don't you guys go away and get a hotel room right or can i come over can i give you time to go out to dinner what can we do to assist you caregivers don't get the same thing on the back end people aren't lined up.
At others doors saying you know what you're carrying with someone with advanced alzheimer's why don't i watch them for you for the next couple days you can go away with your man right it doesn't happen one because people are just uncomfortable having the conversation right and what i what i found is that.[00:22:00]
People will readily talk about a lot of things. They won't talk about their aspect. When you get people in caregiving groups of peer to peer support, it's like the number one topic people start talking about, is my relationship went to shit because we didn't pay attention to this.
Alex: As my conversation with Becky nears the end, we're closing in on something that I think about a lot. How so many of the simply spectacular humans providing all this love and care and doing so at what can be great, personal, professional, financial, mental, emotional, physical expense. They're also not complaining.
And not only are they not complaining, they're not even asking for help. But wait, there's more. If you ask someone in this role, how can I help? We're likely going to brush you off with a, I got it, I'm all good. But we know they're not. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because we're so in the red, we have no time or energy to even begin to think about anyone or anything other than that care we need to provide and that person for whom we're providing it.
That's something we can work together to change starting right here, right now. Right now. And so I asked Becky, please. Oh, please. What are some ways we can help?
Becky: There are so many ways, Alex. I would say the number one is if you see someone who is in a caregiving role, whether or not they're struggling, don't be afraid of having the conversation. Don't be afraid to say, I see all the things you're doing for X, Y, or Z. I think that's the easiest thing to do. Call it out, explain that you see it.
You identify it, make the caregiver self identify that they're in that role, because that starts the conversation long term. I think one of the most beautiful examples of this goes back about 15 years when I was working as a social worker at a hospital. I had a young family, the husband and wife in their fifties, wife came in.
She had a very rare brain injury. That ended up really causing a traumatic brain injury that she did not recover well from she was almost total care, they were transferred to another hospital. So I did not have responsibility for their discharge plan, but I worked with their daughter and their daughter came to me about a year later and said, my dad is a shell of himself.
He is my mom's caregiver 24 7. I can't get him to take any help. And because she worked with me, we were friends. I said, invite me over for a cup of coffee. So she invited me over for a cup of coffee with her mom and her dad. And within about a half hour, I had him agreeable to accepting some very soft services to assist him in his day.
[00:24:49] He was an avid golfer. He had completely stopped golfing. And I was able to arrange very limited respite for him. And he wouldn't accept very much, but he accepted five [00:25:00] hours one day a week where he would go play around the golf with his buddies. And this, you know, you're talking 15 years ago, I ran into him at my golf course about a year ago and he came in and was sobbing and he gave me a hug and he said, you changed my life.
And that is how easy it is to change the life of someone to identify you are a caregiver to have the conversation in a very specific way to make sure that they're not feeling like they aren't deserving of these programs or services, and that they can change the long term outcome. And I can guarantee you had he not accepted respite care when he did, his wife may have ended up in a skilled nursing facility.
And guess where she is. She's still home and she's still doing well. And he now has many more hours of care in his home because he trusted the home care aides that we were able to get him. So I think having the conversation, making the identification and then realizing there is a whole host of services available for caregivers, whether that be caregiver support programs or in home services or home delivered meal to alleviate cooking responsibilities and that we need to get people to access them.
Alex: So two thoughts, one, and if somebody It doesn't do that. All the stuff that you just listed, take it upon yourself, then to you as a human, go do that. Go fill a fridge. Go mow a lawn. Go shovel a driveway. Something as straightforward as the example you just gave. You came over for coffee. If you know that someone you're caring for is in a.
pretty intense situation with somebody that they're caring for. Go insert yourself, sit with that person instead. So the person, your buddy can go for a walk, can go golfing. Sometimes they just want to lie down on their back and stare at the sky,
Becky: whatever it is. Bring a bouquet of flowers, send a text message that says, I see what you're doing.
That's it. Make a caregiver self identify that they're a caregiver and that they're valued. If you show that at the outset, you can then build on the value proposition To get people to realize that there are resources available and more importantly, Alex, that they're not freaking alone in this world and the work that they're doing, that there are hundreds of thousands of others that are doing the same thing might look a little different and that there shouldn't be guilt associated with those feelings of this is really hard.
Alex: And not only should there not be guilt, we see you and what you're doing is glorious and we're looking forward to a world where everyone else sees that these unpaid caregivers should be first in line to be hired. They should be the first in line to get promoted. They should be the first in line, and we're working hard to do this, to get people actual compensation in the many ways that I think are in process to happen for this job that is a job.
So in closing, what do you want to leave us with? You know, the, you and I live in a world where we're often speaking to people who know these issues. They might not know exactly how to solve them or what to do about them, but they're working hard at it. But the vast majority of people out there, they're They didn't even know this word existed.
They certainly weren't aware that they're most likely to be in this job. What would we say to all the gorgeous souls out there who are having that enormous fortune to listen to you and your story and your insight and your scars and your expertise?
Becky: I would say overwhelmingly, and I say this both professionally and personally, I have been astounded at the number of times You and I have either spoken together or spoken separate where we've provided the caregiver intensity index to the general population that was there to watch us and they know what we do and the number of people that came up after taking the CII to say I didn't realize I was a caregiver.
I want the general overall population to take two minutes. To jump on the internet, take the caregiver intensity index, get your score, realize what's helping you in your care journey, what's hindering your care journey, and then how to reach out for assistance if you need it. So I, that's my number one takeaway.
My goal for the state of New York and the work that I'm doing with you is that every person that's working in that capacity can say proudly, I'm a caregiver.
Alex: Yeah. And that the rest of the world's like, hell yeah you are. We always joke, I long for the day that somebody can wear a, you know, biker jacket with the Archangels logo emblazoned on the back and someone will come up to you and be like, dude, you're an Archangel.
Me too.
Becky: Absolutely.
Alex: Right? Beck, I'm so madly in love with you. Oh, we love you.
Archangels are badasses for good. And Becky is that in all the ways, showing up for the people in her life in every way, Whether that's at home with her kids, with her family of all kinds, ex husbands included. For her co workers, her community, for the entire freaking state of New York as the Executive Director of the Association on Aging in New York, And truly, because she is so good at what she does, increasingly as a force for good on the national scene, representing this invisible backbone of our nation in a way that is data driven, action oriented, and chest out to the tape filled with love, intention, even ferocity.
Becky cares. Emma cares. Our bet is you're caring too. Let's all keep that in mind. That care? It doesn't always look like we think. It's unexpectedly traveling out of state to support your ex husband through a life saving medical procedure. It's your 10 year old daughter sleeping on the couch to listen for her dad who might need her.
It's sitting with your mother in law sorting through social security benefits while you're both grieving. And it's everything in between. Are you the one taking care? Everyone else, whatever it looks like for you, you're definitely an archangel, and you might be in the red. Take two minutes and get your score.
You can also connect to the stuff near you that can help. Go to whocarespod.com. And don't be shy about sharing that with everyone you know who could use it, aka share the fuck out of it. By sharing all her feels with us, Becky not only gives a voice to the voiceless, but also challenges us to reconsider our preconceived notions about what it means to be strong, what badass looks like, and that's what this podcast is all about, celebrating all those who care in all the ways.
Because they are the warrior angels keeping this nation going. And this is our salute to them. Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and don't you dare miss an episode. Wings up people. Respect.